Salt is weird. Like, thousands of years ago, salt was super
important so much so it was basically currency but it came from the ocean.
Specifically salt encrusted rocks...what happy accident was that then?! Some
caveman family was at the seaside, one of them accidentally dropped their
mammoth sandwich (in that it was big and also made from a mammoth) on one of
the rocks and, being an unfussy eater, ate the sandwich then turned around to
the others "Okay dudes, you're not going to
believe me, but this rock, this one right here, this rock is delicious!"
and so, sceptical at first, they all started wiping sandwiches on seaside rocks
and found that they loved it.
Or the other explanation is that salty tasting meals exist
naturally in...nature...so, ancient humans went on quests to find more
accessible salts. Which would be fun to imagine. A caveman scientist, "Day
1, just invented numbers, very happy side effect of quest for salt. Tried
licking a porcupine...porcupine seemed to enjoy it, but my tongue did not for
varying reasons. Will update log again tomorrow." The next day, "Day
2. Just invented linear concept of time, very happy, though now also somewhat
aware of own mortality which is rather uncomfortable. Mission for salt
continues, got grandmother to try sucking eggs as per Jeff's suggestion, she
said they could use some salt. Will update log again tomorrow." The third
day, "Day 3, decided to take a break today with the family, went to the
beach. A good time was had by all until Jeff dropped his sandwich on the floor.
He caused a scene until I offered to give him my sandwich and I'd eat the one
off the floor because it's the stone age and who really cares about germs,
apart from Jeff. Found that the sandwich now had salt on it, rocks make salt,
fellow salt hunters very happy with my discovery." "Day 4, Jeff
suggested salt was actually in the water and that we could harvest it by
boiling said water. Crazy Jeff, salt is a solid, not a liquid, he'll never be a
scientist like me if he continues to think like that."
I did originally have an ending for this, but I forgot it...so,
erm, lets talk about dinosaurs instead. Now dinosaur means "terrible
lizards" which is a fantastically inaccurate name as they were neither at
all terrible nor lizards. But that is a story for another day, smoke bomb!
*flees in confusion*
