Monday, 17 February 2014

On the subject of death.

Man, I am bored to death, literal death, I am a ghost now. Just, you know, haunting the internet, death ain't so bad. No bills to worry about, no debt, well, no financial debt, there's like sinners debt and demons do keep trying to catch me and drag me to Hell to settle it, but I'm too wily for them! I have sick cunning skills, you don't even know!

But yeah, it is boring, you know, because eternity is a long time to have about, yeah you can go anywhere, do anything, see everything because you've got that time, but it does tend to end up as "meh, I'll do it tomorrow" and suddenly the thing has turned to dust and hell, even the continent in which the thing was in no longer exists because you put it off so much because there was always a later thing...time could be wasted...

It's why death always scared me...not the sudden cessation of knowing, of being, that scares me as well, but not nearly as much as eternal life, because it would be, well, Hell, pun partially intended. No matter what it was, it could be the raddest, most entertaining thing ever. It could be jet-propelled skateboarding super models flinging angel cakes into your open mouth whilst your back is being rubbed by other models whose hands are made out of the feeling you get resting your head on the cool side of a pillow...and there's a fucking giraffe! But all that wouldn't matter because it'd get boring, and yeah you can change, but you've got forever, the only impetus to change would be yourself. It wouldn't be forced upon you, so you would become complacent.

How do I know that? Because look at everyone! People watch the same shit day in, day out, watch the same television programmes, read essentially the same stories, play the same games, everything, and that's with an actual time limit imposed on them that yes, the brain does its level best to obviate, but even still! Even if we don't like something, we'll carry on doing it just because, and only change that when something reminds us that our time is short, maybe a pain in the chest, or you have difficulty running for the bus, oh shit, better start exercising, but then if you had eternity...meh, I'll get around to it later...

Of course, that could just be related to my own experiences, what I've seen of the world, who knows? It could be that there are people out there who have the long term vision to actually enjoy eternity. I can't remember where it is, but I know there is at least one culture out there that has the concept of time being a complete none issue. They see things not in the sense of "this thing will happen tomorrow" but rather "This thing has happened but I'm not at that point". In other words, they see their lives as a whole, even the crap that hasn't happened yet, and it's better for them in some regards. Because they invest in stuff for their future, and I don't mean like putting money aside for a rainy day or whatever, I mean, they see it in a more complete sense.

They're not putting money aside for some hypothetical scenario, they put it aside because they know their lives exist beyond that moment....and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we don't know that our lives exist beyond this moment, but our culture is heavily biased toward the short term. "I'll do this, so I can do this and then I can do this..." Instead of a defined end-goal, it's based around getting to checkpoints, which means it's easier to fall off a project. "Hey, I got to the ninth stage, there's only thirteen, that's pretty good!" Or worse than that is the curious case of "Well, if I drink my own weight in tequila today, sure, it'll suck for future me tomorrow morning, but the me that I am right now will have a very good time!"

So imagine the scenario where checkpoints are irrelevant because time is irrelevant because you have literally all the time there is in existence, hell, even more because you know, infinite. Like I said, we are a checkpoint culture, but how can you mark against infinity? "Well, when I get to the halfway point of infinity I'll go back to college and get my diploma." Say that out loud and in earnest and I think the universe eats you. Literally. It spontaneously grows a mouth, with lips and teeth and even a tongue and then it sweeps you up, chews for a while, then swallows you down, then disappears whilst grumbling under its breath that now it has got the taste of idiot stuck on its breath and that it now needs a mint. 

So anyway, I'm bored, still, so I'm off to go do something, before I run out of time to do it. Which is the way I would want it to be. Later taters. 

PS: Yeah, sorry for not updating, I've been feeling really shitty these last couple of months and not feeling much like writing. Nothings especially wrong, but very little is going right as well, and yeah, in any case, depression rarely needs a reason to kick a man to the kerb and piss in his mouth.

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