Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Nihil oculus

I used to have pretty good, scratch that, really good eyesight, like phenomenally good....I could read books from across the room, I could read the numbers on buses from >100 metres away, I had a stare so intense it could rip a ship in half....okay, that last part may only be half true, but still, I had a pretty damned decent set of peepers.

I don't any more. My eyes are terrible now, they gunk up easily, they're always dry, I need to wear glasses to see, with any clarity, further than like 5-6 feet in front of me....I've lost the ability to cause wanton destruction just by looking at something....*sigh* I miss that most of all. But yeah, seriously, I'm scared of a lot of things, what people think of me, where I'm going in life and how I'll get there....but losing my sight is probably my second biggest fear...just the thought of never being able to see anything again is enough to send a shiver up and down my spine and I don't know, is that an irrational fear? I mean, it may never happen, but it's not outside the realm of chance, especially given with how much the summer is fucking them up.

Then again maybe it wouldn't be so bad, being blind. I mean, I could get another dog, I could get a specially adapted car that's driven by voice-activated computers....I could walk around feudal japan as a blind ronin, disguised as a beggar, calling myself zero-1 and being badass...really, the opportunities are infinite when you're blind! Well, except for you know, being able to see.....yeah....I don't know...

I think I could live without the other senses, you know...I wouldn't like to, but yeah, if someone said to me "sight or hearing, pick one to lose!" I'd have to go with hearing because you know, it would mean I wouldn't have to listen to the scum neighbours screeching and yelling all the damn time and I'd also be able to avoid being properly rickrolled.

Plus, I really like my eyes. Yes, this is going to sound vain, because it totally is, but they're one of the features I really like about myself. I've gone on about transhumanism before and I would probably, if it were purely down to aesthetic terms anyway, replace everything else but leave my eyes....and possibly my knees....I have special knees....I keep them covered all the time because if I let them out people start wars over them....oh lord just thinking about those gorgeous knees of mine is driving me to the plateau! I jest...of course I jest, they really look a potato stuffed in a sock....fucking knees.....anyway, where was I. Yes, I'd leave my eyes alone if it were purely for reasons of vanity. But because of the degradation, that is continuing....they'd probably have to be the first thing to go and be replaced....which sucks, you know....still, I could always have them put in lasers so that I can have a real destructive stare, but it's just not the same...

I didn't plan on writing this....I'm just bored, waiting for midnight to check funds, so I thought I'd write something...because fun! And I don't know, this has just been on my mind all day, because I really hate the summer heat and what it does to my eyes, just, feels like shit, you know. Anywho, I'll write a proper one in the next couple of days, probably something to do with either video games, or zombies, or zombies in video games! Probably not though, could be anything, anything at all! Do you hear me?! Anything! Later taters! *throws a smoke bomb at the floor and escapes in the confusion*

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